When I was: 18

was playing Facebook and saw this status:
When I was: 18
I wanted to be: 
My best friend was: 
Was in a relationship with: 
My biggest fear was: 
'Like' and I'll give you an age to play with. :)

on my friend page and I Like it, she then gave me a number 20, so I ask how come 20 18 cannot?

so she gave me 18 to start.


and this is what I write:


When I was: 18, my mind is my fantasy, I dream everyday, dreaming of which college 2 go, have high hopes for my future
I wanted to be: an artist or study hotel management, wanted to paint the world n everyone's heart
My best friend was: wei & malini
Was in a relationship with: an idiot, like everyone that's 18
My biggest fear was: my parents don't let me study, n finally after school they say to me, girls don't need to study n my whole world shattered.
'Like' and I'll give you an age to play with. :)


I always wish that, if only they have let me study and my whole world would have change, my life would not be so hard coz I don't have a degree, but it's alright I told myself now, coz I can't change the past now but I sure can work hard to change the future, it's better to have a hard life now then when I'm old, so maybe one day, I'll make enough money to study again, who knows what will happen, never says never.. I pray to god.. and thank god for everything.

8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

• by Woman's Day, on Mon Aug 1, 2011 7:11am PDT

by Denise Schipani

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband’s feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, “Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn’t feel that way at home.” Here, nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other––and the words that you should try instead.

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In my opinion this is so true, 8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband. I never realize that sometime what I say maybe hurtful to other, but sometime it's just so hard to control, I guess the word that I have always say is “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself! ...
Not that I always like that, but sometime I just wonder why people can't even do a simple task? I guess, maybe I should just leave it and let them do and even they did wrong, just let it be, and that way maybe I will be happier and wont offend others, anyway, below is the 8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband, enjoy getting to know what your hubby think... when you say that 8 words..

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 1. “You’re just like your father.

“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process. Photo: Shutterstock
2. “When are you going to find a new job?”

First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you're not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want. Photo: Shutterstock
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3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,’” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?’” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words. Photo: Shutterstock
4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!

This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be. Photo: Thinkstock
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5. “You always... [fill in the blank]” or “You never... [fill in the blank]”

“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don't care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing...,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask. Photo: Shutterstock
6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions. Photo: Thinkstock
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7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?

There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?’” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn't involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.) Photo: Paul Bradbury / Getty Images

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”

This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown. Photo: Shutterstock

Article originally appeared on WomansDay.com.

when the rains over there will be rainbow

This suddenly in my mind, when the rains over there will be rainbow. After the past, there will be new beginning, everything ends and everything starts, past then present. I guess this is the way of life.

Suddenly some part of my past pop up in my mind

I'm on the sofa, thinking of my future, suddenly some part of my past pop up in my mind, it's blur coz I'm not sure what happen to me, I just can't remember, I can't remember anything good or happy when I was young. Anyway, the sudden past pop, it's already in my head so I though, why not just blog it down and serve as a reminder or something, but the truth is, I felt chill in my bone, uneasy and kindda lost every time I try thinking of my past, coz I don't actually remember much and what does that means? Everyone can remember but why can't I? Anyway, I'm gonna write some that I remember.

I was very young, a kid and my family is poor. Everyday I woke up, my parents would be out working from morning till night, driving our their vespa very early in the morning when the sky still dark. Me and my elder brother alone at home, I can't remember if my grammar are with us or not, maybe I was so scared that I lost some of my memory I guess. But I remember, me and my elder brother alone in our dark house. Everyday, I would stand at our metal door, holding on the cold metal, looking outside and wish my mom & dad would be back soon.

Food, I remember, I would scoop out white rice and mixed with soya sauce and eat, I guess that's the best food ever at that time. I'm always afraid, I guess my elder brother afraid too, but he's a boy so he don't show, he don't say. I'm always scared and always cry. My dad if he's with us and I cry, he will hit my elder brother, hit his leg, hand and butt. I'm not sure why my dad hit my brother, so I cry louder. I'm too young to understand why my dad hit my brother, but now that I'm an adult, I guess maybe at that time my dad though that my elder brother makes me cry or bullied me, so he hit him, but it's not like that. I cry not because of my elder brother, I cry because I'm timid, because I'm scare, because I'm a crybaby. I wish that I can explain to my elder brother and say sorry to him now, but we are already adult and he hate me 98% and I know no matter what I say to him now, he won't believe and would think I'm a hypocrite and he's 95% selfish. So I guess, I can't do anything but let nature take it's own course, if God gave me the chance, I would apologize to him, and hopefully he would understand.

Please understand and don't blame my dad for hitting my brother, coz at that century or whatever you call it "time", everyone hit their child to teach them but my dad never use violent on us, he just not really good at express or teach, my dad would hit my brother if his school result not good and other reason but he never once show any violent to us and always works hard with my mom to make all of our life better. I'm grateful for that, grateful because my dad and mom work hard to provide us...

I remember once when I'm older, in primary school, I was at a neighbor house doing tuitions work, but I can't finish it and was very nervous because if I can't finish, the tuitions teacher will hit my hand with cane, and it really hurt. I write and write, trying to finish it and my mom show up, she say, the teacher's here, go to her now. I'm afraid and I cry, don't wanna follow, my mom grab my hand hard and pull me out, I struggle and fighting for my life I guess, coz I'm so afraid that my tuition teacher will hit my hand, suddenly I grab a slipper and throw at my mom, with one hand grabbing me, her another hand gave me a slap, blood flow down, my tooth broke, I'm crying and blood everywhere. She pull me, to sit beside the tuition teacher, I forgot if she ever gave me any hanky, but the tuition carry on and I just sat there stunt, tears in my eyes, blood in my mouth, tooth on my hand and the tuition teacher carry on but that day she din't hit me, so I sat there and listen tho I don't remember what she had taught, but this incident, printed deep in my heart..

I always wish I had a dog, to play with me and love me. So when one day, I found a dog chain, I pretended at the end of the chain that's a very cute puppy. I go everywhere with that dog chain, I guess my mom scolded me sometimes and think I'm crazy. I love that chain, but one day, I was naughty, I don't remember what I did, maybe I when out till very late or something, that I have done or said. I .. I don't remember.. just that I did something wrong, I guess, really wrong and she grab my chain. One part of the chain she chain it to my leg and another part she chain it to the gate outside of our house, many neighbor walk by, I guess they din saw it coz I try my very best to hide it, and thank god it's not hot and at the end of the day she let me go.. I don't remember my feeling back then, but it was hard, maybe because I'm afraid the neighbor will saw my pathetic look, or something, I can't remember, but that's another print in my heart.

I'm not an obedient child back then, I guess my parents must have some hard times teaching, but I'm not bad too, coz I don't do bad things.

I guess I don't blame my parents now, because I guess at that time that's how they teach children but secretly, I think my elder brother do blame my parents, and I guess he never get over it and never say's it out but I do hope one day my elder brother will understand that my parents actually love him the most and provide the best they can for him, I hope he will understand and appreciates it.
I guess my elder brother do have some print in his heart, just that I'm not him so I don't know what he's been through, coz I always saw the better side. Like, he got a new computer, dad and mom send him to expensive tuitions, he study overseas, he gets what ever he wants, always gets new computer, but I'm sure he has his prints in his hearts, coz my parents are kindda not good at teaching kids and they are very strict ..
My younger brother is the lucky one, he only got beaten once by my dad, that is coz he skip school to play online games and was caught somehow so that was about it.
I have a great dad, I know his great, he even iron and wash my younger brother school uniforms, everyday from he's in primary one until he's in secondary school, that my dad, never did for me, but he got me a bicycle when I was young and I'm so touch, coz no matter how I beg my mom for it, she never agree and never let me have bicycle, so I saw another side of my dad, the very loving good side, I hope my younger brother can feel it.

Everyone knows that my parents love my elder brother the most, even my aunty can tell so is my younger brother, all all friends of my parents but my elder brother can't see it, maybe coz of some prints of the past, maybe because he has everything now. He's so caught up with controlling everything and thinks that he know best for the family, that he ends up hurting the family but he still thinks he right and my parents just go along with it, but what to do, I can't do anything because I'm nothing in this family, "invisible I call it".

Sad? sometimes, but I'm alright, coz I need to focus on the positive things to carry on my life, I want a better life for me and everyone I love and therefore I must carry on and never look back... I still cry sometimes, because I'm human but I'm alright, because I never look back now.. because no point looking back... I'm learning what is life now, I hope I'm not too late, tho it's hard but I'm trying, so if you think your life is hard & sad, look at others, and try working it out in the positive way, coz that's the only way and the right way and no other way, you must first let go of the past and find your way through the positive path.. then maybe you will find what everyone called happiness, I'm looking for it but I hope you have found it....