When I was: 18

was playing Facebook and saw this status:
When I was: 18
I wanted to be: 
My best friend was: 
Was in a relationship with: 
My biggest fear was: 
'Like' and I'll give you an age to play with. :)

on my friend page and I Like it, she then gave me a number 20, so I ask how come 20 18 cannot?

so she gave me 18 to start.


and this is what I write:


When I was: 18, my mind is my fantasy, I dream everyday, dreaming of which college 2 go, have high hopes for my future
I wanted to be: an artist or study hotel management, wanted to paint the world n everyone's heart
My best friend was: wei & malini
Was in a relationship with: an idiot, like everyone that's 18
My biggest fear was: my parents don't let me study, n finally after school they say to me, girls don't need to study n my whole world shattered.
'Like' and I'll give you an age to play with. :)


I always wish that, if only they have let me study and my whole world would have change, my life would not be so hard coz I don't have a degree, but it's alright I told myself now, coz I can't change the past now but I sure can work hard to change the future, it's better to have a hard life now then when I'm old, so maybe one day, I'll make enough money to study again, who knows what will happen, never says never.. I pray to god.. and thank god for everything.

8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

• by Woman's Day, on Mon Aug 1, 2011 7:11am PDT

by Denise Schipani

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband’s feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, “Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn’t feel that way at home.” Here, nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other––and the words that you should try instead.

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In my opinion this is so true, 8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband. I never realize that sometime what I say maybe hurtful to other, but sometime it's just so hard to control, I guess the word that I have always say is “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself! ...
Not that I always like that, but sometime I just wonder why people can't even do a simple task? I guess, maybe I should just leave it and let them do and even they did wrong, just let it be, and that way maybe I will be happier and wont offend others, anyway, below is the 8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband, enjoy getting to know what your hubby think... when you say that 8 words..

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 1. “You’re just like your father.

“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process. Photo: Shutterstock
2. “When are you going to find a new job?”

First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you're not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want. Photo: Shutterstock
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3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,’” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?’” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words. Photo: Shutterstock
4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!

This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be. Photo: Thinkstock
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5. “You always... [fill in the blank]” or “You never... [fill in the blank]”

“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don't care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing...,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask. Photo: Shutterstock
6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions. Photo: Thinkstock
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7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?

There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?’” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn't involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.) Photo: Paul Bradbury / Getty Images

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”

This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown. Photo: Shutterstock

Article originally appeared on WomansDay.com.

when the rains over there will be rainbow

This suddenly in my mind, when the rains over there will be rainbow. After the past, there will be new beginning, everything ends and everything starts, past then present. I guess this is the way of life.

Suddenly some part of my past pop up in my mind

I'm on the sofa, thinking of my future, suddenly some part of my past pop up in my mind, it's blur coz I'm not sure what happen to me, I just can't remember, I can't remember anything good or happy when I was young. Anyway, the sudden past pop, it's already in my head so I though, why not just blog it down and serve as a reminder or something, but the truth is, I felt chill in my bone, uneasy and kindda lost every time I try thinking of my past, coz I don't actually remember much and what does that means? Everyone can remember but why can't I? Anyway, I'm gonna write some that I remember.

I was very young, a kid and my family is poor. Everyday I woke up, my parents would be out working from morning till night, driving our their vespa very early in the morning when the sky still dark. Me and my elder brother alone at home, I can't remember if my grammar are with us or not, maybe I was so scared that I lost some of my memory I guess. But I remember, me and my elder brother alone in our dark house. Everyday, I would stand at our metal door, holding on the cold metal, looking outside and wish my mom & dad would be back soon.

Food, I remember, I would scoop out white rice and mixed with soya sauce and eat, I guess that's the best food ever at that time. I'm always afraid, I guess my elder brother afraid too, but he's a boy so he don't show, he don't say. I'm always scared and always cry. My dad if he's with us and I cry, he will hit my elder brother, hit his leg, hand and butt. I'm not sure why my dad hit my brother, so I cry louder. I'm too young to understand why my dad hit my brother, but now that I'm an adult, I guess maybe at that time my dad though that my elder brother makes me cry or bullied me, so he hit him, but it's not like that. I cry not because of my elder brother, I cry because I'm timid, because I'm scare, because I'm a crybaby. I wish that I can explain to my elder brother and say sorry to him now, but we are already adult and he hate me 98% and I know no matter what I say to him now, he won't believe and would think I'm a hypocrite and he's 95% selfish. So I guess, I can't do anything but let nature take it's own course, if God gave me the chance, I would apologize to him, and hopefully he would understand.

Please understand and don't blame my dad for hitting my brother, coz at that century or whatever you call it "time", everyone hit their child to teach them but my dad never use violent on us, he just not really good at express or teach, my dad would hit my brother if his school result not good and other reason but he never once show any violent to us and always works hard with my mom to make all of our life better. I'm grateful for that, grateful because my dad and mom work hard to provide us...

I remember once when I'm older, in primary school, I was at a neighbor house doing tuitions work, but I can't finish it and was very nervous because if I can't finish, the tuitions teacher will hit my hand with cane, and it really hurt. I write and write, trying to finish it and my mom show up, she say, the teacher's here, go to her now. I'm afraid and I cry, don't wanna follow, my mom grab my hand hard and pull me out, I struggle and fighting for my life I guess, coz I'm so afraid that my tuition teacher will hit my hand, suddenly I grab a slipper and throw at my mom, with one hand grabbing me, her another hand gave me a slap, blood flow down, my tooth broke, I'm crying and blood everywhere. She pull me, to sit beside the tuition teacher, I forgot if she ever gave me any hanky, but the tuition carry on and I just sat there stunt, tears in my eyes, blood in my mouth, tooth on my hand and the tuition teacher carry on but that day she din't hit me, so I sat there and listen tho I don't remember what she had taught, but this incident, printed deep in my heart..

I always wish I had a dog, to play with me and love me. So when one day, I found a dog chain, I pretended at the end of the chain that's a very cute puppy. I go everywhere with that dog chain, I guess my mom scolded me sometimes and think I'm crazy. I love that chain, but one day, I was naughty, I don't remember what I did, maybe I when out till very late or something, that I have done or said. I .. I don't remember.. just that I did something wrong, I guess, really wrong and she grab my chain. One part of the chain she chain it to my leg and another part she chain it to the gate outside of our house, many neighbor walk by, I guess they din saw it coz I try my very best to hide it, and thank god it's not hot and at the end of the day she let me go.. I don't remember my feeling back then, but it was hard, maybe because I'm afraid the neighbor will saw my pathetic look, or something, I can't remember, but that's another print in my heart.

I'm not an obedient child back then, I guess my parents must have some hard times teaching, but I'm not bad too, coz I don't do bad things.

I guess I don't blame my parents now, because I guess at that time that's how they teach children but secretly, I think my elder brother do blame my parents, and I guess he never get over it and never say's it out but I do hope one day my elder brother will understand that my parents actually love him the most and provide the best they can for him, I hope he will understand and appreciates it.
I guess my elder brother do have some print in his heart, just that I'm not him so I don't know what he's been through, coz I always saw the better side. Like, he got a new computer, dad and mom send him to expensive tuitions, he study overseas, he gets what ever he wants, always gets new computer, but I'm sure he has his prints in his hearts, coz my parents are kindda not good at teaching kids and they are very strict ..
My younger brother is the lucky one, he only got beaten once by my dad, that is coz he skip school to play online games and was caught somehow so that was about it.
I have a great dad, I know his great, he even iron and wash my younger brother school uniforms, everyday from he's in primary one until he's in secondary school, that my dad, never did for me, but he got me a bicycle when I was young and I'm so touch, coz no matter how I beg my mom for it, she never agree and never let me have bicycle, so I saw another side of my dad, the very loving good side, I hope my younger brother can feel it.

Everyone knows that my parents love my elder brother the most, even my aunty can tell so is my younger brother, all all friends of my parents but my elder brother can't see it, maybe coz of some prints of the past, maybe because he has everything now. He's so caught up with controlling everything and thinks that he know best for the family, that he ends up hurting the family but he still thinks he right and my parents just go along with it, but what to do, I can't do anything because I'm nothing in this family, "invisible I call it".

Sad? sometimes, but I'm alright, coz I need to focus on the positive things to carry on my life, I want a better life for me and everyone I love and therefore I must carry on and never look back... I still cry sometimes, because I'm human but I'm alright, because I never look back now.. because no point looking back... I'm learning what is life now, I hope I'm not too late, tho it's hard but I'm trying, so if you think your life is hard & sad, look at others, and try working it out in the positive way, coz that's the only way and the right way and no other way, you must first let go of the past and find your way through the positive path.. then maybe you will find what everyone called happiness, I'm looking for it but I hope you have found it....

life is hard but wow, I'm still alive and kicking

No one tell any one, especially their children that life is hard, I guess. My parents certainly do not, they are too busy with work and have no time for family and friends. Me & my brothers don't even know who our cousin is, if they don't live near us. I don't know why they are so busy until they don't even know what's going on and don't seems to have time to care but now that I have all grow up, and life is hard, I started to realize something. Maybe just maybe, I though, my parents life is so hard coz they are so poor then, that they turn to earning money to make life easier and in that process of earning money, coz life's hard for them and they have to feed kids at the same time, so they just melt in the system like everybody else. Working hard and harder for money and nothing else matter and day by day pass, they lost the the way to communicate with their children, and everyone else and there, the children grow up without guidance, and as the child grow, they realize that they are missing life, they don't know what is life and don't know what to live for and deep down in their hearts they blame the parents for not understanding, for not guiding, for who knows what...

Yes, I'm guilty, coz when I'm in my teens, I blame my mom. Blame her for not understanding me, blame her for not letting me go college coz she can afford at that time, blame her for looking down on girls, blame her for not educating me, blame her coz she always provide the best for my brothers but not me. She always think, that I'm useless I guess, and that made me feel insecure and useless all my life, but what to blame any more. I guess, no point blaming anyone coz my life is already so hard, coz I'm not making enough money so I can't really care what negative thinking she has about me, but to concentrate on finding my own life. 

I always try to understand why my mom thinks and do the things she's doing to me, that is making my life miserable. I'm already sad enough, pathetic enough but she keep on splashing salt to all my wound now and then. Anyway, maybe coz we are Chinese? coz Chinese always favor the boys? and make the boy into pampered spoiled brats, and let the girl rot. But hey, not sure why, I guess I love her, yes, I love my mom and I guess I'm willing to let go of what ever hurtful words she say to me. Maybe I owe her and she owe me in our previous life, so we are paying each other dept, or whatever you may called that, but I'm pretty sure, that's her attitude, and nothing can change that, so just let it be, hopefully one day, when I lucky enough to become someone successful, then she can stop mind hurting me, look me in the eye and be a little proud that she has a daughter like me, that I can only hope & pray for now. And yes, she's my real mother, I look at my birth certificate and oh, ok.. she's the real deal and I have to live with it " that was when I'm still a teenage", I though I'm not hers so I look for it. Now, I always joke about it to my friends, of how I look high and low for the birth cert coz I'm so sure I'm not hers XD hahaha feel so stupid back then ..

So much had happen, in my life recently. I now can clearly look at human and what they are capable of doing, things happen around me, I look at people's behaver differently, some I think I understand, some I don't, some I think how could they, what's wrong with them, some are just so twisted, lier lier pants on fire.... if you are a little lamp in this world, like me, do be careful coz many wolfs out there are trying to eat us up T_T but don't be discourage, there will always be good people, just that, are we lucky enough to meet them in our life? So never do really bad things, coz I guess KARMA will come and bite you one day... and then you'll know in your life why you are not that lucky..

Anyway,

Recently I call my mom, coz been sometime I din call her up to talk, we were talking then suddenly she change topic, she talk to me in  bahasa melayu, she say "you siapa, salah telefon" (who are you, wrong number) and she hang up, I'm not surprise but I was deeply hurt, "again". You see, if she suddenly change, it will always be my elder brother is somewhere near. She's so psycho when it comes to my elder brother. I will never in my life understand why her love for her elder son turn into being afraid of him, and I don't think my elder brother hate me that 100%, ok ok, maybe he hate me 98% but I guess not 100% and not until that she can't even talk to me when he's around, bull shit.. but my mom as always, makes me feel there's something wrong with me, and everything is my fault and so. It's really hard for me as a kid, as a teen, as a person, but, I thank God, coz I can still be consider lucky compared to others. I'm learning, and trying to understand why people do the things they do and slowly I'm letting go of the pass and I pray and hope God would give me more chance to make a difference in my life & others and of coz, hopefully God will let me win some lottery, hahaha 

but really, I need the money haha, to create my dream :D hahahaha,

Ok, serious, my mind is my power, so is yours, don't dig into the pass and blame, blame, blame, coz no matter what you do, the pass can't be change and you still have to live with that crap. Look ahead, and I guess you will be happier.

So, about the my mind is my power, so is yours thing. With mind power, who knows, you may turn that into something really wonderful and your dream may come true. I have many idea and dream, and you may say, well, that's worth nothing. Ya, I know, I don't have money now, but don't under estimate the power of mind and dream for everything start simple, everything start with an idea, a dream, unless you are someone who don't believe, that I don't blame you, coz believing is not something easy, things are easier said then done, bad things always happen to good people, but whatever happens, if we stop believing, I guess that's the end of the road, and you will never be back on your feet again, but whatever that is, always believe and try to understand things in a good way, I guess eventually things will have it's own course.

One thing I always stress out is that always remember money is very important, those who say money is not everything, mmm, try saying that to a poor guy, or someone in hospital that have no money to pay, but never be greedy coz that's the part that God saw in you and make karma bite you in your ass somehow. Money is important and so is life and everything else in the package of life, so try to understand, what is it that you want, why can't you let go or how things works and maybe just maybe, you will find your way to the lights...

Anyway, money, is how you look at it, it's how you find your balance with it, don't let money control you, don't let greed control you, let you control money, I guess that's it, I'm not sure yet how, I'm still learning about my mind and money and many things, and I still am not a millionaire, so I don't have money to do any experiment yet, hahaha, if I ever become one hahaha then maybe I'll write something about it, haha

After so much that I write here, now I really wanted to write books, but erm, with my English and my spelling, oh gosh, I guess no one will buy or will ever understand what I'm trying to express T_T" and writing this alone took me 4 hours coz I need to read it again and again to correct my spelling T_T and grammar, if I know what that is... >.<"

Anyway, life is hard with crazy & psycho things happening in my life, with family problems, tho they are nothing compare to the wolfs out there, you know what I mean...

but wow, I'm still alive and kicking and I'm not crazy so I guess, that's good rite :) 

till next time, if I'm still alive & kicking XD 

14 Ways to Save Money on Groceries

This is the best article ever that I really really have to share it here ^^, 

things in my fridge always spoil and I wonder why 

but with the useful tips below share by Country Living & Shine from yahoo! 

I can save some money & keep my things nice & fresh ... ^^,

awesome ^^,

14 Ways to 

Save Money on Groceries 

by Country Living, on Wed Feb 2, 2011 9:45am PST

Save money and trips to the market with these tips and tricks from Rebecca DiLiberto’s Penny Saving Household Helper. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to keep food at its best.

1. Line the bottom of your refrigerator’s crisper drawer with paper towels. They’ll absorb the excess moisture that causes vegetables to rot.

2. To keep herbs tasting fresh for up to a month, store whole bunches, washed and sealed in plastic bags, in the freezer. When you need them, they’ll be easier to chop, and they’ll defrost the minute they hit a hot pan.

3. A bay leaf slipped into a container of flour, pasta, or rice will help repel bugs.

4. Stop cheese from drying out by spreading butter or margarine on the cut sides to seal in moisture. This is most effective with hard cheeses sealed in wax.

5. When radishes, celery, or carrots have lost their crunch, simply pop them in a bowl of iced water along with a slice of raw potato and watch the limp vegetables freshen up right before your eyes.

6. Avoid separating bananas until you plan to eat them – they spoil less quickly in a bunch.

7. Put rice in your saltshaker to stop the salt from hardening. The rice absorbs condensation that can cause clumps.

8. Stock up on butter when it’s on sale – you can store it in the freezer for up to six months. Pack the butter in an airtight container, so it doesn’t take on the flavor of whatever else you’re freezing.

9. In order to make cottage cheese or sour cream last longer, place the container upside down in the fridge. Inverting the tub creates a vacuum that inhibits the growth of bacteria that causes food to spoil.

10. Believe it or not, honey is the only nonperishable food substance, so don’t get rid of the stuff if it crystallizes or becomes cloudy. Microwave on medium heat, in 30-second increments, to make honey clear again.

11. Prevent extra cooked pasta from hardening by stashing it in a sealed plastic bag and refrigerating. When you’re ready to serve, throw the pasta in boiling water for a few seconds to heat and restore moisture.

12. Keeping brown sugar in the freezer will stop it from hardening. But if you already have hardened sugar on your shelf, soften it by sealing in a bag with a slice of bread – or by microwaving on high for 30 seconds.

13. If you only need a few drops of lemon juice, avoid cutting the lemon in half – it will dry out quickly. Instead, puncture the fruit with a metal skewer and squeeze out exactly what you require.

14. If you’re unsure of an egg’s freshness, see how it behaves in a cup of water: Fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.

Plus:  Learn the tricks to keeping food fresh longer so your food dollars don’t go to waste.

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